Thumbs. Most people have two. Some people have funny toes that resemble thumbs. Ok, not people, maybe those are monkeys. Regardless, I should have learned after the zucchini slicing incident of August 2011, which ruined my soaring guitar career, that one can get injured in the kitchen. (Please note, by soaring, I mean I completed my first eight lessons and learned my scales. Ok, I sort of learned a scale.) Still, life goes on, people have barbeques, things need to get done, guests arrive early and parts of my thumb can get cut off in a mandolin. Ouch. Don’t worry folks, I threw away that cucumber.
Besides the fact that anything involving water turned into a pre-planned event, it just hurt. Those stupid finger cot things are great for showering and washing dishes (while avoiding the mandolin at all costs). It is not fun however, when the highlight of your barbeque revolves around you having a tiny condom on your finger. Ok, I’m lying, Continue reading →
Today was a day of accomplishment. With gorgeous spring weather, brought the desire to get up early and make this spring, the spring that we have a well put together backyard. Now that I’m showered and subtle frustration has calmed, I can solidly put together some of the thoughts and tips I developed as the day progressed. That sounds all hunky dory, doesn’t it? But really this is the stuff that I am warning myself for the future yard work adventures. It sounds better to put it that way than blatantly complaining.
Warn your husband not to laugh at you when you trip or twist your ankle when you are tired, dirty and cranky, and carrying more than a normal armload of tree branches; unless you think they’d like expletives to be thrown their way. Also, when said expletives are cast upon your spouse, don’t be surprised that you instantly develop a crude character assessment and reputation from the elderly and nosy neighbors.
The way to get color on your pasty skin is not to apply heavy duty sunblock (first of all) and then not wait long enough for it to dry. When the wind kicks up and blows fine dirt your way, it only makes you look dirty. It just makes you look homeless and feel gritty. Also, start standing upwind of the dirty to avoid breathing it in and being appalled later when you blow your nose and have nearly black boogies. You’ll remember this note when your allergies kick in and after excessive nose blowing, you see your reflections and your nose is the only area of skin on your body that shows your real skin color.
Don’t rush. When ripping out weeds, be sure not to grab hold of a rose branch accidentally and sliding more than a couple thorns through your delicate hands, which rips your skin apart. Yes, I should have been wearing my gloves, but I thought I was done and then noticed a weed-ridden area. I’ve already paid for this mistake with stinging rubbing alcohol. Still, do not make this mistake again.
Along the same lines, don’t be so offended when you accidentally grab your dog’s crap while again, picking weeds in the yard. After all, didn’t you just spend an hour spreading manure in the garden beds? Is it really that different? Continue reading →