Here is the vital information to gather from this post: I’m happier with my marriage than I am with our wedding. I’m learning to be ok with this because ultimately, that is all that matters. Yet there is evidence that remains, in the form of wedding pictures and they haunt me.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I still have buried resentments and hostile feelings about the wedding and the time leading up to it as well. There were lovely people who took part and wonderful moments that I’ll never forget, but there were also selfish people and such petty behavior that can really put a damper on what is supposed to be the happiest day in one’s life.
First of all, I’m glad to say that wasn’t the happiest day of my life and I’ve had many outstanding days since, but unfortunately this one costs a lot and creates a hassle for so many people. If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t; not that way anyway. The thought of having a wedding makes me squeamish. If I could, I’d have eloped or I’d have paid for our parents to join us far away or even not far away. I would have said “screw you” to every nitwit who made our lives difficult and would have taken more time to be grateful for the people who took their love for us and the joy of our wedding more seriously.
I would have taken more responsibility to recognize who matters and who doesn’t, and acted accordingly. And I would’ve moved the wedding from the west coast to the east coast so my Grandmom could’ve been there.
If you’re reading this and you’ve yet to be married, I cannot stress enough; do what you both want. We did but it wasn’t easy. Do not try to people-please and do not let people spoil the moments that mean something to you. Do not let them take anything precious from a moment that sincere people are happy to spend with you.
And do not let the Church cram your Dad’s girlfriend into the pew next to your Mom, where she can’t get pictures and enjoy a good view of her only daughter’s nuptials.
Though I’m sure it doesn’t sound like it, I have gotten over quite a bit of my aggression and I’ve learned to forgive but I just simply won’t forget. I realize the “what ifs” and regrets are pointless. I’ve even developed relationships with the people who hurt me and I’m able to look past what I consider to be their mistakes because in the end, regardless of what that one day meant, we are happy and no one can take that away from us.
Gee Shan, thanks for delving that all up. Try to push out the memory of children throwing Bibles in the Church while their parents laughed because they are “cute”, as the Church planner and your family gaped in horror. Forget the bullying when our decisions didn’t meet the expectations of others.
By the way, if you have a choice, and you should because you’re paying for it, for God’s sake, make a “do not play” list. Unless you really enjoy the Chicken Dance or the Macarena, do yourself that favor. That was one of the best moves we made; that and getting out of the country for a couple weeks after the wedding. Those days…were some of the best days of my life.