Thumbs. Most people have two. Some people have funny toes that resemble thumbs. Ok, not people, maybe those are monkeys. Regardless, I should have learned after the zucchini slicing incident of August 2011, which ruined my soaring guitar career, that one can get injured in the kitchen. (Please note, by soaring, I mean I completed my first eight lessons and learned my scales. Ok, I sort of learned a scale.) Still, life goes on, people have barbeques, things need to get done, guests arrive early and parts of my thumb can get cut off in a mandolin. Ouch. Don’t worry folks, I threw away that cucumber.
Besides the fact that anything involving water turned into a pre-planned event, it just hurt. Those stupid finger cot things are great for showering and washing dishes (while avoiding the mandolin at all costs). It is not fun however, when the highlight of your barbeque revolves around you having a tiny condom on your finger. Ok, I’m lying, there were some pretty decent jokes thrown out there from some pretty unexpected family members.
Also, I could barely text, Google or email. When I tried, my band aids were so bulky and intrusive that I’d type everything wrong and get far too annoyed to continue. So there goes all those text based friendships. If only I could keep hold of friendships with people whose voices I’d never recognize.
Most importantly, what we all must remember is that thumbs are crucial to buttoning your pants. I learned this the first time I had to tinkle after getting all bandaged up. I hope you enjoy the word tinkle, I do. It makes it sound more like a cute little sing-song type event. And now I’m talking about the bathroom in my blog…awesome. But it is seriously difficult to grasp the little zipper pull and then get the button fastened when the entire exposed side of my thumb is MIA. Every time I’d force through the not-so-pleasant feeling, so I can walk around with my pants up, I realized my thumb started to bleed again. Maybe I should’ve gotten stitches, or maybe I should’ve worn sweatpants for a week. Don’t worry boss, I’m only wearing pajama pants because my thumb hurts.
There were a series of other annoyances, such as putting the keys in the ignition to turn the car on, reaching into my Mary Poppins bag of junk to find things and pretty much anything involving hands.
Sure, I tease about the hassles, but people struggle with lifelong and very serious disabilities every day. How lucky am I that I just have random incidents that prohibit standard behavior for just a week. I’ll never forget how much you mean to me thumb…until I get a paper cut and I remember how much I like you whole.
Picture courtesy of ThinkSquad.net