This post could be the one that pushes me into either crazy territory or a relatable one. I’m supposed to be truthful and share who I am in this blog, so I’ll get on with it.
Do you believe in past lives? Whether your religion abides by this belief or not, it might have crossed your mind.
I wasn’t raised to believe that we were reborn but there is something in me that leads me to believe that maybe I’ve been here on earth before. I don’t know who I was or where I was born. I don’t even know when I was here or how many times. I know that there are things I’ve been drawn to since I was a child, and these feelings drew me despite the fact that my family never led me there.
I grew up Irish/German Catholic, in America and in the 80’s. I have had a subconscious fear of someone stealing my shoes since I was a child and I’ve been drawn to 30’s and 40’s music even before my peers went through a rap and bad pop phase. I have however, since the time I began school, had a fascination with the Holocaust. I’m not going to sit here and say this means anything, nor will I claim any actual connection to this time, but it’s a very odd feeling. I longed for rucksacks, lunch dates with my Grandmoms and leather journals, fedoras and an antique phonograph. I had a reoccurring dream when I was a child of men dragging me out of my house and stealing my Mom’s pearls. I would be so scared I couldn’t go back to sleep. The grandfather clock outside my bedroom door would transform into a steady soldier or officer in the night that kept watch.
But I came from a pretty sheltered home, where I couldn’t watch Goonies because the kids cursed in it and I wasn’t allowed to play guns with the boys because it was too violent. I don’t know where my fears came from. I don’t know why I would get upset about someone stealing my shoes when Dad woke me on the couch, even if I had my shoes on. I didn’t have brothers, sisters or cousins to play tricks on me at that time yet.
Maybe I’m crazy. These could be coincidences and maybe I’m mentally as odd as my medical file. I’ve always been the unique one out of the bunch. But I wonder if anyone else has a feeling that they’ve been somewhere in another time. Besides having reoccurring fear, I don’t feel that I’ve ever experienced true tragedy; I just wish I knew where my tendencies came from.
Can you relate?