There I was, not so long ago; no, it was only last week. It feels like forever only because I was so sure then. I had it all figured out; then, gut instincts kicked in. The direction I was about to go, all of a sudden didn’t feel right. Maybe it’s not the direction, as much as the way I intended to get to the destination. If opportunities sound too good to be true, they probably are. So now what? How can I encapsulate all the directions I want to take my life? Can we have it all?
Happiness comes down to knowing what is most important and being grateful for what you have, while not settling for what you don’t. The important part is getting to the place where all these feelings collide and feel real.
There is so much more to offer than working 40+ hours per week and paying the bills for things that just keep us mundane. We have covered that in the past, no need to rehash that. How we end up and what we give up in order to live life to the fullest is interesting. What I’m willing to give up seems insane to some people. We are not all made to live the same life, though I want elements of normalcy in the mix. I don’t feel troubled about life as much as hopeful and excited to see what we can make of it. I say “we” because it’s not just about me, it’s about my best friend and husband too; the husband is also my best friend so that makes life a little less complicated.
“They” think I’m crazy to give up cable. I say it’s crazy to spend hours in front of the TV watching other people live. I’m willing to work hard for the type of life I want, I just don’t know what it should all consist of yet; writer, historian, mother, student, broadcaster, traveller? It is very easy to say I can do it all, harder to do.
Time will either tell or speed by; in the meantime choices will need to be made and I hope a little divine intervention can help my mind along. I don’t doubt I will make something of myself, though I am anxious. I just need a little more direction than I ever expected or wanted to admit.
Mae East 