The Easter Bunny is Making Me Chubby

I’m also going to blame Santa, St. Patrick, Revolutionary War veterans, ok all veterans, the Pagans that started Halloween and the Pilgrims.

I realize a furry bunny did not force a chocolate one down my throat; or peeps or jelly beans.  So maybe I should blame my metabolism for failing me when it should clearly know that I like to celebrate every holiday with food; it’s the American way.  I also have a husband who brews his own beer and I love to bake.  But it does help that I sit in a cubical all day and then come home and write all night.  Clearly.

I’m still slender for the most part, but my body isn’t the same as it used to be.  My clothes are quite a bit tighter and showing some unflattering puffiness.  I’m not going to buy bigger clothes.  I have started to walk during my lunch break and now that we have a span until the next holiday, I will make an effort to eat better.

Unfortunately, I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of person, but that will have to change.  When I was younger, even when I was a size two, I thought I was heavy.  Yes, I know; we should all travel back in time and slap that young girl around a bit.  She was pretty foolish too, living off of Pepsi and not eating for days to lose weight.  What a fool.  I’m referring to her as someone else because I can’t imagine having that kind of willpower, it sounds exhausting.  I remember that if I would eat, I would make a deal with myself to not eat again for a certain amount of time because I felt guilty.  Needless to say, it did some damage to my system for years and who knows how malnutritioned I was.

More recently, my husband had a difficult work schedule that would leave me to myself most every night for about seven months.  This led to bad habits and eating things that were quick because I thought it was foolish to cook a whole meal for just me; another idiotic decision.  We are back in a regular routine now and it’s time to make an effort to plan and eat healthier again, as well as less.  I hate to say I’m greedy, but I make a plate like it’ll be my last meal and there is no reason for my body to need that much food.  I don’t even think Jesus ate that much at the Last Supper.  I’d like to feel good about myself this summer and in general.  Now, if my bangs would just quickly grow out, so I can stop regretting that poor judgment call.

Photo courtesy of funnyordie.com

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