I Can Eat a Quart of Ice Cream Because I Ate an Apple Yesterday (and Other Excuses)

I did it again.  I woke up in the middle of the night, eyes wide open.

“Damn, I didn’t post!”

But, Tuesday hasn’t technically started for me, even though its 3:00am, so I can write now and it will still count for yesterday.  It’s still Monday night, right?  I mean, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I had plans to write.

Then I starting thinking how late I’ll be if I woke up now and became functional, only to go back to sleep for two hours until my work alarm goes off.  So I got up, turned the TV off, lights off and hit the shower.  Better to get ahead of the game, plus I do some of my best thinking in the shower; except that I usually get on a mental “roll” in there and forget what I was going to write by the time I’m done.  I started thinking that I should keep a recorder outside of the tub in case I have any ideas that are earth shattering.  Then, because it’s 3am, I came up with a silly line about I can make a joke about those plastic flute-like recorders 4th graders get, and how that wouldn’t help my blog writing.  Sure glad I didn’t use that one.  Whew.

But really, I’m sure I’m not alone in the incessant excuse making.  I don’t think I use them when it comes to others, pretty much just for myself.  I’m a selfish excuse maker.  Here are some of the best I’ve come up with in the last week.

  • I’m not going to the gym.  Those people who never go and make a New Year’s resolution go and it gets too crowded.
  • I’ve gained a few pounds.  It’s probably because I’m stressed at work or my metabolism is starting to slow down at 28.  It can’t be because I’ve been on a cookie diet since Christmas.
  • (To my husband)  Yes, I saw the apples went bad.  Why didn’t YOU eat them?  I didn’t eat them because I didn’t want leave you without any.  (Ok, so maybe I’m not so selfish with myexcuses after all.)
  • I had to buy those boots, because they sent me a $10 coupon and then there was another sale ad for 20% off.  It would be like wasting money if I didn’t use them.
  • I know we just bought the Girl Scout cookies, but if we don’t eat them it’ll be like the tragedy of 2011, when we forgot about a box of shortbreads on top of the fridge and they got stale.  (Reference second excuse here)

At least I’m not murdering people or doing harm to others with my excuses.  They are really harmless.  Oh man, I just tried to validate my excuses.

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6 thoughts on “I Can Eat a Quart of Ice Cream Because I Ate an Apple Yesterday (and Other Excuses)

    • Thank you for your comment.
      I always thought of excuses as more of a lie then a creative process. I’m going to have to work with that for this blog. It’ll get increasingly more difficult to come up with topics as the year goes on.

      Your “about me” page is intriguing by the way. I’m looking forward to reading more.

  1. Take it from someone who is 70 going on 28, these things follow you all your life. At least when you reach this point, “I’m too damn old” can be added to the list.

    Some of your posts are so familiar to me that I could put my name on them and convince my friends I wrote them! (Naw, I’d get caught . . .)

    • I’m on to you Anita…
      I’m kidding of course. I think you’ll find we have a lot in common because I’m the exact reverse of how you stated your age.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing. I look forward to reading your posts and seeing what I’ll be like in the future!

  2. Funny, I was just thinking about excuses the other day, when I was running late for rehearsal. I used to waste a lot of time thinking up excuses for being late, for being a no-show, for not getting something done, or forgetting something I had to do. I would prattle on about unavoidable obstacles while everybody’s eyes glazed over. I was only making the excuses for MYSELF. I was just trying not to disappoint myself!

    My excuse for all those excuses? I thought I needed that illusion of being perfect. Now that I’ve given up perfection, I can just shrug and go on being my flawed self, trying to do better next time.

    • I appreciate your comment. How true it is too, that we’re really only making excuses to make ourselves feel better anyway. No one really wants to know all the details why we’re late. A simple “Sorry I’m late” will suffice.

      Thank you for sharing and keep on strumming…

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